20 May 2007 @ 03:29 pm
33 hours and counting  
Everything feels so temporary when I'm this tired; all my junk's broken and clothes're dirty and it's all just kinda hangin' loose; I'll do it later.

This month is a bad month for electronic junk. I broke Chris' iPod (or did I? Who the fuck knows?), and someone stole the CD player out of his car. I ran over my own iPod. It still turns on but the face has cracked; it's now a 30 gigabyte, 200$ iPod Shuffle. I should have stayed with the Rio. I lit my Rio on fire and melted off its exoskeleton in a horrible fireworks accident. It still fucking worked; it played for me without even having real buttons to have pressed. How does one go on without buttons? We should all be so thankful. I dubbed it Darth Vader after buying a broken model and swapping skins. Those thirty dollars for Red Chair Software were wasted, too, as apparently Anapod Manager only lets you hook up one iPod per computer, so when I plugged in Chris' to fix it I tied his machine to mine. Everything on this computer keeps freezing. I keep sneezing, and I'm pretty sure my breath smells. I'll cup my hand around my mouth and breath back into my nose, but then I can't tell. I have only little hints when I move my mouth or breath a certain way. It's probably my sinuses - it would indeed make sense that I can't smell my smelling parts just as you don't know that curious scent your house holds.

I'm wantonly killing off processes in Task Manager now. I do not remember what I hoped to gain but it seemed like a good idea for a moment. I should be asleep right now and would be were it not for amphetamines and the computer screen. I know at this age I ought to be able to stay up for days on end, or at least that's what they say. It's just not in me, though. Physically I'm fine but I can't hold focus and I fainted in the shower. Well, maybe not so fine in the body, but the stress is on my head; I really can't keep a thought for long enough to draw any sort of useful conclusion.

Been staring John Donne's Holy Sonnet Fourteen: Batter My Heart. I really love this guy, though the conceits I'd come to know by heart I'd read for hours repeatedly here in this chair have left me, I can bring their names to bear but no further. They're on the tip-of-the-brain with everything else I should know, like what I'm doing tomorrow and about what I initially logged onto Livejournal to write.

The Magnetic Fields and Donne are forever fused in my head, now. I spent too many hours on end listening to them and no one but, while reading and writing on Donne. I'm not done, either, though almost. Five full pages outlined - only seven or so to go on the paper and I'll pass school. Or pass out.
Current Music: The Magnetic Fields
16 May 2007 @ 10:03 pm
Okay. So, to organize my thoughts, here's a rough sketch of what I did to Chris' iPod. Bear in mind, this music is kind of important; he doesn't have any other copies of a lot of it.

  1. I try to get tracks off the iPod in Gtkpod; can't figure it out

  2. I install EphPod with WINE, and attempt to retrieve the music with that. EphPod freezes while transferring a particular track, and I think I've messed up the iPod

  3. I restart and log into Windows, and look for other software. I make the mistake of trying Xplay, which further fucks up Chris' iPod while freezing on the same track. I really feel stupid for this. The stuff is still there, but iTunes won't recognize it

  4. I log back into Ubuntu and suddenly realize I can get tracks off the iPod with Gtkpod. Making sure to uncheck the evil bastard track, I load the music onto my computer

  5. Back in Windows, I find a program to mount my home folder in Ubuntu under Windows, and confirm that I can thus easily put the tracks back in the iPod. I proceed to reformat Chris' iPod in iTunes

  6. I realize that some of the tracks are missing, and many are now awfully tagged. I use Mp3 Tag Tools to fix the tags

  7. I try loading the music from the Ubuntu home folder in iTunes and loading the iPod. iTunes goes nuts, so I end up buying Red Chair's Anapod Manager, a pretty solid software suite

  8. As it stands: Various errors pop up when trying to move the music around in either iTunes or Anapod Manager. iTunes is now telling me that Chris' iPod has -1,521,970,935.37 GB of data. The folder in the Ubuntu partition has 5,447 files and 26.7 GB data. After adding the directory to iTunes, 5196 songs are listed as 25.4 GB data. Between trying to use iTunes and Anapod Manager to load the iPod, I've completely filled the 30 GB iPod with only 5,328 songs, including duplicates and mistagged tracks.

    I've really fucked things up.
11 April 2007 @ 05:28 pm
I'm confused about this whole "sick parent" thing. How am I supposed to feel?
Current Music: William, Clap Your Hands
05 April 2007 @ 11:57 pm
bat rainbow: so before you assume, think
bat rainbow: WCATST?
bat rainbow: Would Chris Assume the Same Thing?
bat rainbow: if the answer is yes, then you may be assuming a little too much
Tags: ,
31 March 2007 @ 11:53 am

I got into UMBC, the college my guidance counselor told me I had no chance of getting into. What's more: she told me I had no chance before the deadlines passed for applications. When she found out I applied after the deadline, she simply laughed at me.

Something else. I never sent out teacher recommendations.

20 March 2007 @ 11:34 pm
meghanboylan: and i told myself, "i'm not gonna get drunk, i'm not gonna get drunk"
meghanboylan: but then
meghanboylan: i saw that there was a game of quarters happening across the room
meghanboylan: and i'm seriously quarters master
meghanboylan: i was like, "alright, i'm good enough to beat these fucks in quarters"
Tags: ,
08 March 2007 @ 10:26 pm
"My body is systematically giving me the middle finger."

I don't know anyone who can, given the circumstances, maintain such an amazing attitude, or do quite so much.
Current Music: mates of state
25 February 2007 @ 12:57 am
Words get thrown around a lot. We forget what they mean.

What makes something official?
19 February 2007 @ 11:04 pm

I'm staring at a folder full of all of my old files and music. They've been sitting on my laptop ever since some virus crippled it to the point that it couldn't start up.

I put in an Ubuntu live CD and mounted the documents partition... and I can see all of my files.. but the computer keeps freezing up. So close, yet so far. It's killing me.
17 February 2007 @ 05:15 pm
I think I fucked myself over.

Missed deadlines for all but one or two colleges.

My first and previously only choice is going to tell me to go somewhere else for a year before applying again.


Just wondering, but what does someone who wants to go to college do at that point? Go to community college and transfer out (that's what my mom did)? Get a job for awhile and apply next year?

Parents are saying that I absolutely must live on campus for my first year, but that may not be possible. If St. John's (rolling deadlines, but I've low grades in math/science and I am unable to get recommendations from any math/science teachers) and RIC (may deadline FTW!) don't accept me, they must revise their stance. The only other option then is me moving with them (be it to Colorado or London) and living at home, and that is not happening.